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I’ve been thinking the same thing. More will come out about COVID19 as we go for sure. What I am wondering is exactly what you said...are there some who have some sort of natural resistance? Are there some (many, sadly) who have a genetic make up that predisposed them to severe illness? Back in May they started a huge antibody study where I work. Had 10,000+ people enrolled and we had blood drawn every 2 weeks. It was supposed to run for 8 weeks, or 4 draws total. What they were looking for is are those of us working in this for hours and hours a day getting small amounts and building antibodies as we go? They stopped it after 4 weeks because there wasn’t enough positive already to support the thinking. I have had hundreds of positive folks at this point. Some of them I’m in the room with them for half an hour with regular surgical mask, not even N95. I’m as careful as I can be for sure, but, when you’re seeing 40 people a day, you get tired. You touch your face to move glasses because they are fogged, etc. I don’t know. At this point, I’m chalking it up to a Guardian Angel maybe. But yes, there has to be something...Also, I know you support my vaccine choice Eve. I never questioned that or felt otherwise. Just as I support yours! Thank you for that. My month off gave me lots of reading time. And lots of just thinking time. When I got the text about the doc I work with it sealed it for me. He got put on the vent the day I went. He is a really good guy. Has 2 young kids. I just had that thought like I said, in all the studies and shots given so far, nobody has gone on a vent. I’ve had so many now that have and some that didn’t go home. I’m tired. We all are. I went in the back room yesterday and one of our RNs was sitting on the floor hugging her knees crying and said she just couldn’t keep doing this. It was so sad. And yes, it does suck that people aren’t that nice anymore. I try to step back and know they are tired too. But when you got some woman who insists she needs her results tomorrow because she was at a Christmas party without masks and her mom was there just having returned from Mexico and was “just coughing a little” and now has COVID and exposed 18 people that were there, and now this woman just has to have her results because she is now going to Mexico for vacation...well...and very angrily asking me what’s wrong with our lab that it takes 24-36 hours and I’m explaining that a rapid test for her won’t be accurate and she asks me if I’m stupid and didn’t hear her that her plane leaves tomorrow. Yup. That happened. One of many. Not the same, but similar. But also...not all. The one or two that say thanks now bring tears to our eyes really. Anyway...being off for a bit...made going back very hard. Now we got a variant of the virus that spreads more easily and all we keep thinking is “will I stay well to get that second shot?” because that shot, it is our hope. It is our light in the tunnel. I won’t say at the end because I don’t think we are near the end. Anyway...I’m sorry for rambling. Like I said, being away for a bit kind of changed me. Or my views, or something. This time last year I was sitting on my deck smoking cigarettes and thinking about other things. I don’t want to smoke but I want to think about other things. I want to walk for 3 hours like I do when it’s warmer. Like all of us, I want to wake up tomorrow and have Covid be gone. It won’t be. But...I will wake up tomorrow and know I have my Tribe and Comrades here! I know I’ll write a bunch of natter and process instead of smoke and I will smile about my Girlz all East who’s eyes are glazing over whilst reading. You all have made my world so much more bearable in so so many ways. This is the first Winter I’ve not gone in my Cave completely in many years. So keep on keeping on. We are fighting the good fight together and we are so far winning! Yay! I also know that one of these days, that old John will be gone and I’ll have to find another spike or spire or something to keep me going, and I will. And when I do, I’ll share it with you ! But not yet. Tonight is dry and I’m going to dance with John.
Just wanted to send you a HUGE HUG for all you are doing and facing during this horrible Covid Pandemic. I am a retired nurse and I went back to work during this pandemic at the hospital as a Covid screener. You are so right about nasty vicious impatient self centered people. I'm getting it right in my face on a daily basis and life right now does suck but there is no reason people need to be cruel.
Hang in there and be careful! Also, be very proud to be a successful quitter. Hugs!
"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013
I want to take time to time to Thank Both Of You! Thank goodness I have not had the need to get tested. But honestly I see it every where. Was talking to the Home Depot guy last night and he was on a rampage about how rude people are.....think he just needed to “vent.”
Seroiusly though you are putting your health and families health every day that you go to work. You are the TRUE heroes! I do hope one day, somehow you are rewarded! HUGS TO YOU BOTH AND THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF HEART, the next rude person, just smile and say I’m doing the best I can......do you want to do my job?
Oh, Debbie...first, thank you for what you are doing too. You came out of retirement for this? Wow. Second, thank you so much for the validation. Oh my gosh. Our poor screeners! Yes, they are the first to get it. We only have one that is still there since Summer. It is a revolving door for them. People are probably the worst with them. It is so sad to see these folks berated and abused verbally. For doing their job. I just don’t get it. These aren’t mostly kids or teens behaving this way toward people either. It is folks in their 30s, 40s and 50s. Also, my very first thought when I see or experience this behavior is, “you are not sick enough to be here!” I get very few folks who really are ill that behave poorly. Then I get it, they have a 102 fever and don’t feel good. Not an excuse, but, way more forgiveable than the entitled, demanding, self centered type of woman I spoke of who had a plane to catch. Oh, I could go on and on as I’m sure you could too.
Where I’m having the hardest time is with myself! I was off for a month and I’m trying to figure out did something change? Was I just rolling with it before and went day to day with some sort of blind eye or immunity to it, did I just not see it? Did being off make me soft and more vulnerable? Are people just worn out and tired? Is it post holiday blues or stress? Is it the weather? What the heck happened? I mean there was some of this back in November, for sure, but now it is rampant. My colleagues all tell me it was my time off and being away and not around it and that I will “get used to it again”. That I will “get back in the swing of dealing with it”. And I’m not 100% sure I can. I don’t really have a choice though. Except maybe if I win that lottery Eve and I were talking about! But I don’t want to get used to it. I don’t want this to be acceptable for us as a society or a culture. I’m certainly not going to smoke over it for sure, but did that make me cope better in some way before? Was I just ignoring it while one level of my brain was distracted wanting a cigarette and therefore I wasn’t paying attention as much? That’s completely rhetorical and silly, I know. Early in the pandemic it wasn’t like this though. Are people just getting back to normal? I do not care at all if they don’t make small talk, or say thank you, or even smile (though that is always welcome) all I want is...just don’t be nasty and mean! We all have families we go home to as well. This stuff scares us too. We get sick too. Basically we are just humans trying to make sense of the world and all the rapid changes and guidelines and work flow and just all of it just like everybody else.
I don’t know. Eve asked if not smoking made me more nice. It’s just one of the angles I’m thinking about, whether I am more sensitive without the veil of escape waiting at the end of a shift. I’m sure all of this is complex, and this time last year I happily left work and slipped into my cloud of smoke, off by myself, processing things. But that was over 10 months ago and I’m not going back into the addictive cloud of illusion. Even if it did make me more numb or oblivious and a smidge of that would be nice right now. I’ll figure out the connections eventually. I suspect, sadly, that all of this isn’t me though and there is a good degree I will get used to again. I do know that stopping at that store on the way home won’t have some miraculous effect on anything or make anything different or better. It would be so self destructive emotionally and mentally at this point. I do wonder though if I was tougher somehow when I smoked. So I will keep processing that and continue to build an internal connection of empowerment by not smoking. Seems weird to relate it the world maybe, but I do think it made me more numb and less aware somehow....something is different.
Thanks again. Always nice to hear from you. They are very lucky to have you come back and help out at the hospital, and we are lucky for that here too!
Yes I know it’s been an extremely tough year for you. You not only are dealing with the pandemic, you had fires, riots, protests and oh yeah the AUNT! You only had a blip and were right back on track and doing fantastic! Think of everything you have dealt with and didn’t smoke. You are my HERO, if you can deal with that you can DO ANYTHING.
You always try to lift people up and be very positive along with a distraction. Funny how writing a letter to someone has gone to the waist side, but in a way this is writing a letter, just much quicker. Lol
Oh glad you knew I was supporting your decision in the vaccine. Figured you would, but in case someone else read, didn’t want any backlash. One thing about our letters, many people read. Lol
So quick thought, found a bunch of letters from late 30s and early 40s. Some from Germany (my dad had family there) . Anyway his dad lived in Philly and his brother in NY. So when a letter came from Germany they would send it to NY and his brother would resend to Philly so they didn’t have to write 2 letters and save on postage.
I need to get off my butt and do more ceiling! Talk later!
Oh yes snow was gone by morning but what a fabulous event for me......
Picture a clear plastic tube with like a string of Christmas lights running through it. That is kind of what tube lights are. Yes..love your ideas . More thought required
Family gone and tribe comes today. I need a day off. Lol. Cooking, cleaning, clearing and burning non stop. So much fun tho. Guys (bro and nephews)cleared a lot of big trees I had knocked down....heavy root balls full of rock. These are dead trees mind you. So much rock in soil it is hard for them to survive so have been taking out a section over the last year. Cool to see the regrowth and what plants blow in and reseed.....
Giant bonfire. We danced around the fire....two stepped and actually let my 12 yr old niece teach us a dance routine she did for school and we all did it!, Even bro and nephews...they are all so cool and fun. My sis in law was awesome in managing the fire!! I usually am it when I have get togethers but this chick has skills!! I was delighted! She camped a lot growing up and also with her family now!! Good with fires, that one!, Like Eve I needed to take pics with iPad!,! Did not even think of it!! There will be coals for days....Was all a BLAST. Who needs cigs? Not me.
Interesting conversation about winning the lottery. Funny how most of us have mulled that one over in our minds. I rarely play. Lottery tho!! Wud be nice but for now cannot go there!!
Hugs to you all. Gotta go get ready for tribe now. You all rock!”
Oh Lore and Debbie....
I second the kudos from Eve. Just could not pass this opportunity to thank you both as well!” I am in awe of your dedication and perseverance, you precious girls. I cannot say enough how very much it means to me for you guys to be doing what you do in this pandemic.
Hey there Ladies...
Eve, how’s that ceiling? Hmmmm. I bet your neck is getting sore. From position to work on it. I’m very excited to see pics as I don’t think I’ve seen this type of ceiling before. Do you have to paint it? You go back tomorrow to work? Also, that is pretty cool how your uncles passed on letters. Stuff we take for granted nowadays. All the family news from snail mail. No writing and cc’ing, etc. No group Zoom calls. I did that with my sisters on Tday and Christmas and it was fun. Better than nothing and fun to all see each other. My kid takes this kind of stuff for granted.
Ok, so, thank you for the nice things you both said. It is good to hear that. I will say though, and I think I speak for all the folks I work with, we don’t see ourselves as any kind of heroes. We really are doing what we’ve always done, which is take care of folks the best we can. Want to hear something funny? That RN I found crying (I adore her) she had this T-shirt on under her scrub top that I saw when she came in that the front said “First, Do No Harm” and the back said “Second, Take No S**t”. Was just funny cause she is a tough and seasoned cookie. But finding her like that, in the supply room, sobbing. Broke my heart. Made me see such a human-ness and vulnerability. Is this what folks are forgetting? That we are simple humans just like them? And not all folks are mean for sure. But when a few are it can really spoil the day and make you feel defeated. So I said to the “plane to catch” lady who asked if I “just didn’t hear her or was stupid”, I looked blankly at her after that for about 10 seconds (I was a bit dumbfounded), and then said, “I heard you, and I’m trying to process how your irresponsible choice to gather with 18 maskless people is now all of a sudden my emergency and I am wondering how you now justify putting me and others at risk. Will you sleep on that flight?” Yup. I said that. Will probably get a complaint about it. 6 months ago I probably wouldn’t have dreamt of saying something like that! Of course 6 months ago we weren’t really being treated like we are now either. Anyway...thank you. Just doing my job and wishing I had gone into Veterinary Medicine or Computers or... And...I am truly grateful that I have a job right now and we all think about and talk about this too. There is a lot that makes us lucky. Even with the 20% paycut, we are still some of the lucky ones. Actually paycut is done January 1st, woohoo! So now I get paid the same again to take crap! Always look on the bright side of life, do, dado, da do da do da do! Hahaha! Now maybe I won’t pick up so many extra shifts for a while.
Peggy...a separate thank you to you. I know that it was hard to postpone your family. And maybe since they all stayed well you all look back and regret not doing it on actual Christmas as that always is the best. Please don’t though. What you did was the right and responsible thing for all of us in the moment. Somewhere down there is a Provider hearing one less story right now about how someone gathered with family, etc and now everyone is sick. I heard this out of so many people my first days back. I thought of you and all the others on here who waited or made provisions or was lonely or sad missing folks on the holidays. It’s ok. It is very much appreciated in my line of work. In the grand scheme of things...take heart. We have hope 2021 Christmas will be different. Anyway, thank you. You did the right and responsible thing and if everyone were doing that, this will get better more quickly. And like I told Eve before, Practice Safe Six!!!
Oh yessss! Aunt Georgie!! Got a call from her this morning when I went back to sleep and need to call back. I’m kind of afraid to as I’m hoping she isn’t gonna say “I’m on the train!” I have a touch of PTSD from that visit, but fond and funny memories too! Is too soon for another visit though. Especially since I’m not walking as much right now!! Oh boy. And I still have Max. Still no Riley coming out from the haze. Still,some folks gathering at times downtown but not me. I am very fine in my own little world these days. Partial Cave is good. Soooo good.
OK...will call Georgie now. Stay tuned! Ack!!
So still not done the ceiling, have to order more because went a different direction then planned on. No biggie. You will just need to wait a lil longer on pics. So doing this by myself is time consuming, but yes I will need to paint, especially since I made marks all over, but it comes primed already. But love how it’s turning out. Yep, back to work tomorrow......ugh. We are supposed to be tested weekly. Hmmmm
Did you call Aunt Georgie? How she doing? Is she still eating her edibles? Lol, I know you have PTSD from her, but BOY DID I LOVE THE STORIES!! It kept me SO ENTERTAINED!
I think people are just so fed up with living like this that they forget that you are human also! And you are more at risk then they are. Crazy that lady having to go to Mexico. I applaud your response though! I hope it made her “think”, but most likely not!
I wanna win the lottery!!! Lol
Well hope you have a nice night! Heading again to Home Depot, after shower! Hugs
oh Peggy your gathering sounds fun and I echo Lores applause of putting it off! Better safe and 6feet away! Lol