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Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

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February 2021 Ex-Smokers - Start Here!   Quit Buddies Unite

Started 1/31/21 by Terry (abquitsmking); 33414 views.
Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Mar-14

Thanks Katy,

Will endeavour to make headway through the cravings, It's always there the temptation to smoke that is, I keep saying NO to  cigarettes, just hope I can continue to keep this mindset. 

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-14

Hi Katie, and thanks for your message too, and for the hug! 

I am so glad that I didn't smoke, but I do feel disappointed that my decision was imposed on me (shops shut at twilight in Dawlish Warren!) rather than being my own choice. I suppose I could have gone round to neighbours and begged - I have actually done that before, which feels quite shameful - so at least I didn't do that.  Maybe it's a good thing, actually - I was starting to think that quitting was a breeze, and I'm a bit less complacent now.  And I didn't smoke.  And today was easier.

I'd love to talk to you about my son, but how long have you got??  He is a really kind, good human being, but he has had difficulties with his mental health since the age of 20 (he's 32 now) and there is a cycle of okayness and then not-okayness which is awful for him (and pretty exhausting for us too).  On the plus side, he has recently recognised that there is a problem, and is on the way to getting a proper assessment and therapy.  After all this time it's hard to dare to hope, but I can't help it - I am.  There was just a bit of a backward step the other night, which seemed somehow worse because of the hoping - not sure if that makes sense, but that's how it felt.  Normally I would have smoked on that, and I can't quite believe that I didn't.

Re. family, yes, it's the old stuff and button-pressing, I'm sure.  My sister (who will be 60 this year) still brings up that I criticised her choice of music when she was 15 (I was quite an obnoxious 12 year old I think).   But I remember when she bit her own arm and told our parents I'd done it! The childish part of me still thinks that's worse (well it is, really relaxed.  EVERYONE says so...!).   So yes, a minefield of 'stuff', and half the time we don't even know who's stuff is whose.   I really hope you find a way through with your sister too.  And in the meantime, thank God for friends!

Relaxing is a wonderful thing.  I was also brought up to view idleness as the Devil's Work, but I'm happy to say that I'm pretty good at it now - most of the time, anyway.  I love the image of your daughter leaning back in her mini armchair and going 'aaahhh'.  Beautiful.

I haven't mentioned this before, not sure why, but I know that Sarah Everard lived in your area of London.  My daughter has been really upset by it, and went to Clapham Common last night - mostly  to show Sarah's family that people cared, but also to protest.   There were only four arrests, but she says there was real brutality in the policing - she was shocked by it, and actually feels less safe because of it.   

I have no treats planned for tomorrow, but I do know that I am going to be very proud of myself.  I didn't think I could do this, especially with toothache and my son's current problems (hmm - maybe that's why I chose last Monday, so I would have a good excuse to fail again?), but so far, so good.   You have really helped, Katie, and thank you.

Suzy

  

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-14

Dear Anthony,

Mundane good, smoking bad. 

You're doing wonderfully, and although I wish you'd quit years ago and were just popping in to encourage the newbies (I wish the same for me!), it is also so lovely to have you here clearing the path to the Clubhouse just in front of me.

Please don't smoke. And please post more of your photos when you can?  They are like Quit Nectar to me - they help me remember how beautiful things can be without poisonous cigarettes.

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-14

Yeaahhhhh!  Thank you, Anthony. x

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Mar-14

It's a pleasure

Mercy (mercy164)

From: Mercy (mercy164)

Mar-15

Hi Debbie,

I don't know if you remember me but we used to write on here a bit a few years ago. You really helped me. I am on day 10 and just came back since the time I bumped into you last. I am glad to see you are doing well.

Mercy

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-15

Hi Mercy,

I think I remember you from a few years back.    Good to see that neither of us have given up giving up, and I hope it feels really good to have 10 days under your belt.    Day 7 for me, so I'm not far behind you.   

Suzy

Mercy (mercy164)

From: Mercy (mercy164)

Mar-15

Hi,

I remember you too! It is good to see you and I am glad we are close in our quits. I could use someone to talk with like that on the forum if you want to buddy up? 

KatieKat84

From: KatieKat84

Mar-15

Hi Suzy,

Big congratulations on being 1 WEEK SMOKE-FREEEE! I hope you are feeling very proud of yourself, particularly after the week you’ve had. Who knows, maybe it’s really been the perfect time to quit as it shows you CAN do it even when times are tough. 
 

I’m so sorry to hear your son has struggled with mental health problems and had a setback recently. I can well imagine it must be such a worry and draining for you when things are hard - and brilliant you didn’t give in to the temptation to smoke. And really exciting he is interested in therapy and making changes. I’ve had depression and other mental health problems since I was a teenager. Funnily when I was about your son’s age I really engaged with therapy properly for the first time and it changed my life! It was bloomin hard work and I’m by no means done with it but I’m so glad I started when I did. I really hope your son can benefit from it too. I think everyone can benefit from therapy if they want to - it’s funny how we do so much for our physical health as routine but mental health is left to muddle through! 
 

That’s so funny about your sister biting her own arm to incriminate you! That’s definitely worse than criticising her music taste, ha ha. As it happens my sister (also older, but by 4 years) is also fixated about something I criticised her for years ago! And she says I “told her off” at Christmas (she’s 40!) It seems so hard to have a difference of opinions without her seeing it as a criticism.

Oh I’ve been really upset about Sarah Everard too :( it’s just awful and yes she was very near where we live. Good on your daughter for attending the vigil. It’s pretty bad how the police handled it, you’d think they you use a little discretion and common sense. My husband and I stood on our doorstep with candles. 
 

My daughter has been a wonderful reminder that humans can be good!

I hope you’ve had a great smoke-free day Suzy.

All the best,

Katie

4th March 2017 

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