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Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

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February 2021 Ex-Smokers - Start Here!   Quit Buddies Unite

Started Jan-31 by Terry (abquitsmking); 29412 views.
Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-25

Hi Lore,

Thanks for your lovely message.  You're right - mental health problems are so much harder than physical ones.  There's no roadmap for recovery like there is if you break your leg or something.  But he is much calmer tonight and I'm very grateful for that.

I never asked my mum why she put brandy in the milk, but I imagine it was either to help the birds relax, or perhaps because she thought it had healing or antibacterial properties.  It could also have been a case of 'a drop for the birdy, a swig for me' - I have no idea, but that's certainly not impossible relaxed

I hope your crow friend brought you the mouse as a gift rather than thinking you might be able to revive it.  I'm sure you're very good at saving injured animals, but there are limits!   There's quite a lot of anecdotal evidence of crows bringing presents to people who feed them - if you Google Crows Bring Gifts To 8-Year-Old Girl there's a really nice story there.   

Don't worry about your mind wandering off on tangents - it's a lovely thing, and great that you can still do it without the cigarettes.    I miss the 'alone time' of smoking - just that little break from a place or people that cigarettes were the perfect excuse for.   "I'm just popping out for a cigarette" seems more polite than "I need a break from you so I'm going outside for five minutes".   But once I find a diplomatic way of saying it, there's no reason I can't get time alone without cigarettes.  

Hope you had a nice walk, and thank you for your thoughtfulness and kindness.  

Suzy

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-25

Happy birthday Katie - it sounds as if you had a really nice relaxing day.

I spent almost all of it in bed!  I was just really, really tired and I think it did me a lot of good (although it was a challenge not to beat myself up about being lazy and missing a beautiful sunny day).   It made it easy not to smoke though, and that's another day under my belt.

Thanks for the kind words re my son, and I really am trying to keep faith that things can change. Setbacks do really seem to knock me, though - I think because I am hoping so hard.  Still, at least he is currently engaging with therapy, and he is certainly better tonight than he was last - we had a really nice, calm conversation and I think we both feel on much more of an even keel.

Yes, lighting cigarettes in the wind, burning your fingers, burning little holes in your clothes - nothing to miss there!  One other benefit that I always think about when I type is that I no longer have lots of ash all over my keyboard (yes, I used to smoke indoors - horrible).   

It'll be really nice not smoking on the boat too - we had a canal boat a few years ago, and used an old mayonnaise jar for an ashtray.  We only used to empty it when it was full, so you can imagine how stinking and disgusting that was.  At the moment the boat is out of the water to make it easier to work on, and because of coronavirus restrictions we're not sure when it can go back in, but hoping for sometime in April.

Thanks for helping, Katie, and talk soon.

Suzy

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Mar-25

Happy birthday Katy,

Another year of wisdom added to your experience, Not that you need any extra wisdom you're already wise and wonderful which is evident from the quality of support you give to this forum, thanks for sticking around, many people are so busy with their new lives they forget where it all started. I hope I return the favour if I reach that far.

Have dropped the patch strength back to 14 mg today, we will see how that goes, if it gets to tough I can always go back to the 21's.

Took this photo this morning, I'm quite pleased with it, thought I would share

Take care

Anthony

Nope62

From: Nope62

Mar-26

 That was very nice!

  I have always gauged my current quits against my past quits. Making this one last longer than the last one was a success in ways. Not being able to stay quit as long as I did last time was a failure. I never thought about it like this.

Thanks!

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Mar-26

Hi Nope,

Yes, I got a lot from the excerpt too. I think everyone on here has been down the quit path more than once. We all know that feeling of “failing” and it just never feels very good. It makes it worse when we get up and go at it again to have those thoughts of failures and the fear of failing again hanging over our heads. So I think just going with what we are doing now and staying present and making it day by day and letting the past go and not being afraid of tomorrow is much more grounding and positive. You are doing well. You must be feeling some positive changes now, right? Those little victories add up and become pretty empowering. Keep up the strong work!blush

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Mar-26

I am going to read that article soon a I finish this reply! Thank you!

Oh...yes. The little breaks. I had not had a cigarette with anyone for quite a few years before I quit as nobody I knew smoked. Like you, it was a good way to take a break from things and certain people at times. Now I walk and have no qualms about getting up no matter what time and saying to my partner “I’m going for a walk”. Would be a bit hard to do in a social situation though, and since the Pandemic, I’ve not had to deal with that. Maybe we can put our heads together and come up with a good diplomatic line to use? joy I say that half joking, but I did get a little pang reading your note and realizing I will have to face those situations again myself, maybe soon. 
 

Love it...”a drop for birdy and a swig for me” joy Back in the old days, whiskey was about all they had for a pain killer before certain procedures, so, it maybe did at least make them more comfortable...?

Glad you’ve had a mellow and calm evening. My daughter has a good deal of anxiety. We went through quite a bit when she was 13, 14, 15. She did a program that involved DBT therapy. Twice. Things are better now and going well. This doesn’t sound quite the depth of the struggles you are facing, but I do know how it hurts to not be able to just fix things. It is hard to reconcile being a Mother and feeling so helpless at the same time. You are doing a fantastic, wonderful job not smoking through it. It must give some sense of empowerment for you to help yourself in that way. I hope so as it certainly should. 
My walk was lovely. Was the only two hours I was dressed all day. Yay! 
 

Have a wonderful Friday Suzy!

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Mar-26

Happy Birthday Katie! A bit belated now, but well wishes coming over the pond to you still!

Please, no blushes necessary on the other stuff! I love reading the stories about you and your daughter. They make me smile! It’s nice to be on this end of parenting with my daughter coming into adulthood, but we all have such wonderful memories of them being your daughter’s age and hearing the sweet stories is really lovely. All the things you worry about are all normal worries. It shows you are a good Mum to be thinking and worrying about those things! I think you will find it is just as enjoyable in the teen years and that those years bring just as much delight as the ones you are in now. blush

Happy Birthday!hibiscus

KatieKat84

From: KatieKat84

Mar-26

Hi Suzy,

Thanks for the bday wishes - it was a very relaxing day.

Good for you taking a day in bed. I remember doing that a lot in the first few months of quitting and being so tired and sleepy sitting at my desk at work. I think it’s a combo of reducing nicotine, which is a stimulant, plus the constant mental battle with the junkie thinking. And you’ve had the extra strain of worrying about your son. Don’t beat yourself up for days in bed, even sunny days! It’s so important to give yourself the rest you need to keep your quit strong. 
 

I love taking naps, it’s been one of my favourite past times in lockdown. I’ve got a memory foam pillow and it’s one of my favourite possessions! I’ve also been listening to lots of gentle radio comedy on bbc sounds, very soothing.
 

I’m glad to hear you felt on a more even keel with your son in your last chat. It’s a long old winding road to better mental health but it sounds like your son is on that path - and with you to cheer him on he will get there (wherever ‘there’ is). 

Speaking of keels - yes it will be great to be on your boat and not smoking and having to deal with #### butts! I used to have a jam jar by my back door - emptying out used to make me feel sick! That sour soggy smell ugh. 

How’s the nrt going? Are you finding it helpful?

Hope you’ve had a good day.

Katie

4th March 2017

KatieKat84

From: KatieKat84

Mar-26

Hi Anthony,

Thanks for the warm wishes and for sharing that amazing photo! Love how the sun is shining down through the clouds, and the water looks so inviting. But perhaps it has crocodiles argh?!

It’s really nice catching up with people on here, seeing everyone progressing in their quit. I really don’t think I would have made it past a few months without the reassurance from long timers on here. Yes that WILL be you Anthony - this time next year! Just keep noping every day.

Not long til your op now is it. How are you feeling about it?

Takr care,

Katie

quit 4th March 2017

KatieKat84

From: KatieKat84

Mar-26

Hi Lore!

Thanks for the bday wishes and kind words about motherhood. I often fall into the trap of thinking all the other parents I see have everything worked out, so it’s really nice and reassuring to be reminded these are normal worries and things will work out.

It is lovely seeing my daughter developing every day. Today she was busily walking about our flat with her mini dustpan and brush exclaiming ‘what a mess!’ (You can probably guess who made the mess). 
 

Thanks again and congratulations on being a non-smoker :)

Katie

Quit 4th March 2017

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