About Smoking Cessation Forum

Hosted by Terry (abquitsmking)

Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

  • 5081
  • 273002
  • 1


February 2021 Ex-Smokers - Start Here!   Quit Buddies Unite

Started Jan-31 by Terry (abquitsmking); 29506 views.

From: Suzy2018


Happy birthday Katie - it sounds as if you had a really nice relaxing day.

I spent almost all of it in bed!  I was just really, really tired and I think it did me a lot of good (although it was a challenge not to beat myself up about being lazy and missing a beautiful sunny day).   It made it easy not to smoke though, and that's another day under my belt.

Thanks for the kind words re my son, and I really am trying to keep faith that things can change. Setbacks do really seem to knock me, though - I think because I am hoping so hard.  Still, at least he is currently engaging with therapy, and he is certainly better tonight than he was last - we had a really nice, calm conversation and I think we both feel on much more of an even keel.

Yes, lighting cigarettes in the wind, burning your fingers, burning little holes in your clothes - nothing to miss there!  One other benefit that I always think about when I type is that I no longer have lots of ash all over my keyboard (yes, I used to smoke indoors - horrible).   

It'll be really nice not smoking on the boat too - we had a canal boat a few years ago, and used an old mayonnaise jar for an ashtray.  We only used to empty it when it was full, so you can imagine how stinking and disgusting that was.  At the moment the boat is out of the water to make it easier to work on, and because of coronavirus restrictions we're not sure when it can go back in, but hoping for sometime in April.

Thanks for helping, Katie, and talk soon.



From: Jatchat


Happy birthday Katy,

Another year of wisdom added to your experience, Not that you need any extra wisdom you're already wise and wonderful which is evident from the quality of support you give to this forum, thanks for sticking around, many people are so busy with their new lives they forget where it all started. I hope I return the favour if I reach that far.

Have dropped the patch strength back to 14 mg today, we will see how that goes, if it gets to tough I can always go back to the 21's.

Took this photo this morning, I'm quite pleased with it, thought I would share

Take care



From: Nope62


 That was very nice!

  I have always gauged my current quits against my past quits. Making this one last longer than the last one was a success in ways. Not being able to stay quit as long as I did last time was a failure. I never thought about it like this.



From: Loreficent


Hi Nope,

Yes, I got a lot from the excerpt too. I think everyone on here has been down the quit path more than once. We all know that feeling of “failing” and it just never feels very good. It makes it worse when we get up and go at it again to have those thoughts of failures and the fear of failing again hanging over our heads. So I think just going with what we are doing now and staying present and making it day by day and letting the past go and not being afraid of tomorrow is much more grounding and positive. You are doing well. You must be feeling some positive changes now, right? Those little victories add up and become pretty empowering. Keep up the strong work!blush


From: Loreficent


I am going to read that article soon a I finish this reply! Thank you!

Oh...yes. The little breaks. I had not had a cigarette with anyone for quite a few years before I quit as nobody I knew smoked. Like you, it was a good way to take a break from things and certain people at times. Now I walk and have no qualms about getting up no matter what time and saying to my partner “I’m going for a walk”. Would be a bit hard to do in a social situation though, and since the Pandemic, I’ve not had to deal with that. Maybe we can put our heads together and come up with a good diplomatic line to use? joy I say that half joking, but I did get a little pang reading your note and realizing I will have to face those situations again myself, maybe soon. 

Love it...”a drop for birdy and a swig for me” joy Back in the old days, whiskey was about all they had for a pain killer before certain procedures, so, it maybe did at least make them more comfortable...?

Glad you’ve had a mellow and calm evening. My daughter has a good deal of anxiety. We went through quite a bit when she was 13, 14, 15. She did a program that involved DBT therapy. Twice. Things are better now and going well. This doesn’t sound quite the depth of the struggles you are facing, but I do know how it hurts to not be able to just fix things. It is hard to reconcile being a Mother and feeling so helpless at the same time. You are doing a fantastic, wonderful job not smoking through it. It must give some sense of empowerment for you to help yourself in that way. I hope so as it certainly should. 
My walk was lovely. Was the only two hours I was dressed all day. Yay! 

Have a wonderful Friday Suzy!


From: Loreficent


Happy Birthday Katie! A bit belated now, but well wishes coming over the pond to you still!

Please, no blushes necessary on the other stuff! I love reading the stories about you and your daughter. They make me smile! It’s nice to be on this end of parenting with my daughter coming into adulthood, but we all have such wonderful memories of them being your daughter’s age and hearing the sweet stories is really lovely. All the things you worry about are all normal worries. It shows you are a good Mum to be thinking and worrying about those things! I think you will find it is just as enjoyable in the teen years and that those years bring just as much delight as the ones you are in now. blush

Happy Birthday!hibiscus


From: KatieKat84


Hi Suzy,

Thanks for the bday wishes - it was a very relaxing day.

Good for you taking a day in bed. I remember doing that a lot in the first few months of quitting and being so tired and sleepy sitting at my desk at work. I think it’s a combo of reducing nicotine, which is a stimulant, plus the constant mental battle with the junkie thinking. And you’ve had the extra strain of worrying about your son. Don’t beat yourself up for days in bed, even sunny days! It’s so important to give yourself the rest you need to keep your quit strong. 

I love taking naps, it’s been one of my favourite past times in lockdown. I’ve got a memory foam pillow and it’s one of my favourite possessions! I’ve also been listening to lots of gentle radio comedy on bbc sounds, very soothing.

I’m glad to hear you felt on a more even keel with your son in your last chat. It’s a long old winding road to better mental health but it sounds like your son is on that path - and with you to cheer him on he will get there (wherever ‘there’ is). 

Speaking of keels - yes it will be great to be on your boat and not smoking and having to deal with #### butts! I used to have a jam jar by my back door - emptying out used to make me feel sick! That sour soggy smell ugh. 

How’s the nrt going? Are you finding it helpful?

Hope you’ve had a good day.


4th March 2017


From: KatieKat84


Hi Anthony,

Thanks for the warm wishes and for sharing that amazing photo! Love how the sun is shining down through the clouds, and the water looks so inviting. But perhaps it has crocodiles argh?!

It’s really nice catching up with people on here, seeing everyone progressing in their quit. I really don’t think I would have made it past a few months without the reassurance from long timers on here. Yes that WILL be you Anthony - this time next year! Just keep noping every day.

Not long til your op now is it. How are you feeling about it?

Takr care,


quit 4th March 2017


From: KatieKat84


Hi Lore!

Thanks for the bday wishes and kind words about motherhood. I often fall into the trap of thinking all the other parents I see have everything worked out, so it’s really nice and reassuring to be reminded these are normal worries and things will work out.

It is lovely seeing my daughter developing every day. Today she was busily walking about our flat with her mini dustpan and brush exclaiming ‘what a mess!’ (You can probably guess who made the mess). 

Thanks again and congratulations on being a non-smoker :)


Quit 4th March 2017


From: Suzy2018


Hi Lore,

If you think of a good diplomatic line to use, please let me know!  I do seem to be a bit more blunt since I quit smoking, for some reason relaxed.  Mike was helping cook dinner tonight, and instead of saying 'thank you, darling, for cutting those vegetables so beautifully', what I actually said was "NO!!!  Not like that!!"  

I'm glad your daughter is doing better these days, and it sounds as if DBT helped?    It is really hard not to be able to fix things, but I do know that it's pointless worrying about things you can't change. Doesn't stop me trying, but I'm working on it.

Thanks for the praise - I am very happy to believe that I'm doing a fantastic and wonderful job not smoking, but I do feel like a bit of a fraud there - I am having some cravings, really strong ones sometimes too, but the weird (and wonderful) thing is that I don't actually want to smoke. Well, sometimes I want to smoke, but I don't want to be a smoker.  I don't really understand why - I think it might be this forum - but whatever it is I'm not complaining. And it IS making me feel a bit more resilient, like I might be strong enough to cope with whatever happens.

Wow, you were dressed for two whole hours?  I would take my hat off to you if I'd been wearing one, but I spent the entire day yesterday in a dressing gown.

Thanks Lore, and hope you have a wonderful Friday too.