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Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

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February 2021 Ex-Smokers - Start Here!   Quit Buddies Unite

Started Jan-31 by Terry (abquitsmking); 33337 views.

From: KatieKat84


Hi Suzy,

Mike sounds like a brick - just what you need to keep your anchored in your quit. Has he ever been a smoker (I’m assuming he doesn’t smoke now)? Quitting is the best thing you can do for yourself and your relationships, it means you can prioritise what really matters to you rather than having part of your mind thinking about smoking.

Re the NRT - please don’t beat yourself up about the lozenges. Absolutely the most important thing is that you’re not smoking and taking all those horrendous chemicals into your body. I was thinking though maybe it would help if you had a more structured plan for tapering the nrt, not something you’d have to stick to rigidly but so it’s not completely dependent on how you feel day to day? Otherwise you can sort of end up doing a quit within a quit, which could get pretty tiring. And you’re doing BRILLIANTLY in your quit, it doesn’t seem right you should be disappointed with yourself about the nrt.

I was on patches for 8-10 weeks I think, and used the inhalator on top of that for the first few weeks. I got some stop smoking support through my gp surgery and they made the plan with me on calendar. It just helped to take some of the decision-making out of it.

Hope it doesn’t sound like I’m telling you what to do! Everyone’s quit journey if different and it’s important to do what works for you. It was just a thought I had as an ‘outsider’ perspective.

Ooh I’m honoured the shoe horse will become part of the boat artwork :) would love to see a pic!

I also have so little concept of what it means to age, and what the menopause actually entails! It’s kind of bizarre how little attention it all gets in mainstream arts/media etc. I’m sorry the hrt has had its downsides for you. Are there other options you could try?

We’re having a bit of a hard day as our daughter is a bit poorly - I think it’s the after effects of her MMR booster she had the other day, poor thing. Had quite a disrupted night, and the clocks changing hasn’t helped. Hey Ho, I’m sure she’ll bounce back in a day or two.

My local lido reopens tomorrow - I cannot wait to feel that cold water on my skin!

Wishing you a lovely weekend Suzy!

Katie x 

4th March 2017


From: Suzy2018


Thanks for the encouragement, Anthony - with the quit and with the music - and I'm looking forward to making a joyful noise on the guitar one day.  I suspect that Mike and the neighbours are looking forward to that day too, probably even more than I am.  

More photos please, any time you like!  Don't feel pressured - you've got enough going on at the moment what with getting ready for the op - but they are just so peaceful and lovely and you've definitely got a talent for it.  By the way, I read something somewhere about hip replacements - can't remember exactly what it said, but the gist of it was that it's the best value operation there is in terms of improving quality of life.  You'll be hiking up and down hills and taking photos again in no time - and not having to stop for breath either.

Thanks for the  positivity too - liberation from bondage is exactly what quitting smoking is.  I've been a bit wobbly the last couple of days, so it's really good to hear.



From: Suzy2018


Hi Lore,

I love hearing about Seattle and Portland, don't worry about that!  I also thought it was a beautiful city, and we were actually really impressed with the monorail!  If Portland's transport system is better than that it must be amazing.

We were there for a fortnight for work, and I think it would have been May or early June 1988.  People from the company we were working for took us to Pike Street Market (?) which was also amazing - I remember every kind of fresh fish, and just a real bustle and life about the place.  We also went up the Space Needle - had to, even though I hate heights - and to a tiny little cafe which specialised in baked eggs.  It was called Ma somebody's, and it was so popular they were queuing down the street.  I also remember a trip to see a sort of wind sculpture in Oregon somewhere - it's all a bit hazy from 30+ years ago, but there was a group of metal flagpole-like structures, and when the wind blew through them they seemed to sing.  Maybe I imagined it, but if you know where I'm talking about, please say.

Yes, the moon does seem to affect me, but I might be imagining that too!  I don't think so, but I'll need a few more months of logging moods alongside lunar cycles before I could say for sure.  It's not like I turn into a werewolf or anything - I just seem to get a bit edgy and hyper and start thinking that gin at 4pm is a fine idea (which, sadly, it very rarely is).

Thanks for reminding me of all the positive things happening, and I hope you have lots of positive things happening too. I'm also very intrigued by your pleasant interruption, and can't help wondering what it was...  Obviously no need to say if it's private!

Hope you have a calm, relaxing Sunday too, and talk soon.


From: Jatchat


You're welcome Suzy,

Anything I can do to help, though I had a few nicotine urges this morning but as quick as they come they went, DELAY is a good one Delay acting on a urge.

Anyway go in for a skin check today at 11 AM, that should  be fine.. other than that a blank canvas, hope all is well in the UK

Kind regards



From: Suzy2018


Hi Katie, and I'm really sorry to hear that your daughter's been poorly.  It's in a very good cause - vaccination is a modern miracle as far as I'm concerned - but it's so hard to see them unhappy and not be able to do much to make it better.   I really hope she's back to her normal fizzy little self soon, and that you all get a better night's sleep tonight. 

Yes, Mike is a brick.  He is kind and lovely and clever and funny, and I feel as if I must have done something REALLY amazing in a previous life to deserve him.   Then again, our friends tell me that he's a millstone round my neck - sometimes even an albatross (they can be very unkind!) - and that he's lucky to have me.  Our friends are lovely too, btw - they just tend to have a dry sense of humour; at least, that's what I tell Mike relaxed.  We are so looking forward to seeing them again, and to hugs and parties and all that stuff which we used to take for granted but which seems so very precious now.   

Mike doesn't smoke at the moment - he quit about a month before me - but we both have lots of triggers to come.  We used to smoke on the boat, for example, but the good thing is that neither of us want to do that again.  It'll still feel a bit weird I'm sure, but we're pretty determined, both of us.  And if we don't buy the wretched stuff and put it on the boat, we can't smoke anyway (unless we feel like a late-night cold-water swim, which I have to say is quite unlikely). Glad your lido is reopening tomorrow.  Let me know how it goes?

I agree with you completely about structuring the nicotine withdrawal, and you're definitely not telling me what to do.  I wouldn't mind if you were, but you're not.  I think I just thought that I could get by with a bit of gum and then go to the patches, but I don't really like the gum so my nicotine levels really plummeted, and then I started getting horrible cravings and thinking of reasons why I really ought to smoke.  It doesn't help that my toothache is back with a vengeance (which made the gum even less nice to use).  I think the tooth is broken and will need to come out.  The way I'm feeling at the moment I'll be really grateful to be rid of it, but it's another thing I could really do without at the moment, and another sign that I really am starting to get old!  So I won't beat myself up about the NRT for now, but it IS something I want to address soon.

Ageing - how weird, but how wonderful too.  As Freddie Mercury said, who wants to live forever?  But I would still like a bit more of this beautiful ride, and I'd like that time to be as healthy as possible, too.  It's more than time I quit poisoning myself, and - slight wobbles aside - I AM really glad, pleased, proud and amazed to be nearly three weeks free.   I didn't think I could do it, and you really have helped so much!

Here's a photo of the horseshoe buoy (and Mike!).  You have to imagine the bracket between 'sea' and 'horse' and the lettering is definitely a bit amateurish, but it's legible and I'm still really pleased.  If I'm drowning and someone throws it to me, I won't complain.  No actual horseshoe yet, and looking at it I'm not sure that either it or a seahorse logo will work, but if I don't put a horseshoe on the front of it I will definitely put a little one somewhere to remind me of you.

Hope you have a lovely weekend too.

Suzy x


From: Suzy2018


No, HERE'S a photo of the horseshoe boy.  I am officially old AND technically challenged...


From: Suzy2018


You really do help, Anthony!  Another really lovely photograph, and I hope the skin check goes well.

All fine here - another smoke-free day. x


From: Loreficent


I think these are my favorites so far. I can just close my eyes and transport right there and...ahhhh...absolutely breathtaking. I can only imagine what these views would be like in person Anthony. They are truly a breath of fresh air in and of themselves. What a wonderful moment you must have had taking that all in! And with a full, deep clean breath to boot! Mmmm. Thank you so much. 


From: Loreficent


Hello Suzy,

Hope your weekend came in for a soft and calm landing. Thank you for allowing my enthusiasm for this part of our country. The Pacific NW is my favorite. I grew up in the upper Midwest though left there when I was 25. I’ve lived in the South, in Georgia for 5 years, and shorter periods other areas, but total of time is now most in the PNW. I love the access to nature here as well as the reverence (generally) that nature gets from people here. I LOVE Pike Street Market! I doubt it is changed much since you’ve been actually. I’m sorry I don’t know the cafe you speak of though unamused. I’ll ask my stepson. I’m also not sure about the wind sculptures. We have some on the Coast that are bigger public displays but they are further down for me to imagine them being done as a day trip from Seattle. They are a fairly common artistic garden thing here on a smaller scale than what I’m imagining you speaking of. The monorail is pretty cool, but only covers a small area of downtown. Speaking of...didn’t you just love the hills?joy 
I dream of coming to where you are, someday, hopefully not too far away from now. I really want to go to Bath. Halifax too and just all over there really. Ireland is a long time aspiration of mine, and I’m trying to plan a trip now, but COVID makes it a bit hard still. I’d hate to get the time from work, buy a ticket, and then not be able to go and waste my holiday time from work. So realistically I’m looking at next Spring. 
You mentioned somewhere folks from Britain being a bit more narrow focused...please do forgive me if I read that wrong! I think this is an aspect of human nature one can find anywhere really, but I did not really imagine it where you are very much. Cultures absolutely fascinate me, and I think ultimately many aspects of human nature are not that different across them, same as basic human desires and needs. Now that I’ve said that though...I see holes in that thinking! joy The South here is definitely very different culturally from where I am now, as is the Midwest and East Coast! I do think one can fit in most anywhere if they have true desire to do so and they are open and accepting of differences and embrace them as they are rather spend one’s time always trying to impose one’s views on others. Hmmm...how did I get here? Lol...

My pleasant interruption! Yes! It is a friend and colleague of mine that generally stays at my place once a month when we work a Saturday/Sunday together back to back. He lives a bit over an hour away and we don’t usually leave work until about 8pm and need to be back on Sunday at 7am. So it is always a lovely evening once a month, chatting and hanging out. He has a small farm out near Mt Hood and I have gone and stayed there some too for fun. We weren’t sure when he would get here last night as he got delayed leaving work and he got here sooner than I expected so I wanted to hold on the writing I had started when he arrived. Anyway...we always have similar conversations as what you described recently having with a visitor of yours and I love those conversations and connections. 

Oh, you’re funny! I’m glad you don’t turn into a Werewolf with various moon cycles like I do, haha! Seriously though, yes, I feel the same way as far as believing there is an effect on me with the changes. That is interesting you are actually logging it on a Lunar Calendar. I’m very interested in hearing what you discover if you want to share once you know. I’m very in tune with a variety of things in nature and how they affect me and my animals. 

Goodness! All of these things to think about and learn about and get involved with and celebrate, etc...why did we ever waste any of our time allowing our minds to go up in smoke, right?? 

Isn’t tomorrow your 3 week anniversary?? Fantastic Suzy. I’m so happy for you and also happy our paths have crossed here! I love what you wrote to Blue about the little girl picture and I hope you will embrace and nurture the little girl in you too as you continue on this wonderful, liberating journey we are on! blush

Speak soon, and enjoy your day!


From: Loreficent


Hello again Katie! 

Im sorry to have read about your daughter feeling poorly. I hope she is better now. It’s so hard when they are that age and ill; and it can be so exhausting. 20 months! Such fun. Folks always speak about “the terrible twos”. I did not have that experience with mine. The hardest was shortly after starting Primary School, really. Such a big adjustment for them as they learn about the bigger world outside of their parents. I think once we accept that the phases they go through truly are temporary and all part of the natural differentiation process, we relax with them a little and are able to ride the more challenging times out more easily. 

I divorced when my daughter was nearly four and we moved into our own small place. Her dad is here in the city too, but, was not as committed and involved as he could have been. So, technically no, not a single parent, but...in many ways in reality, yes. I had good support from friends and her school, and from who I now live with as my partner, his Mom. She is basically my Daughter’s Grandmother really as my Mom passed when she was 4 and was far away. Yes, my daughter and I are very close! We have definitely had our moments of disagreement, naturally, but always work it out quickly and with a lot of acceptance and love. Now I find myself reassuring her that it is ok to be thinking about her own life and getting her own place in a year or two, or whenever she is ready, and that it will be ok as I will still be here and she will always have a home with me wherever I may be. She may have to travel to get to me, but I will always gather her under my wing and let her rest when needed. I remember having the same feelings actually at her age. There was a part of me that felt guilty for feeling ready and wanting to have my own place and leave my parent’s home. I want her to know those feelings are ok and natural and part of her growing into an adult and I am not threatened or hurt by them or her changing needs. This is why I say some things I do...when they are small we worry about them moving on and leaving, but then we realize when they get to be a “legal adult”, there are still a lot of needs that they have and nurturing to be given. You are always gonna be her Mum, and she will always know in her heart that you are there for her. Always.

Lockdown here in Oregon is still partial. The U.S. has been very different with it from state to state, and even from county to county within states. It is kind of a big place to handle something like this in a “one size fits all” approach for sure, but, I do have my thoughts on the overall initial approach we took in many ways. I work in Medicine and have been working all along so my life as far as that goes didn’t change much except for the level of stress a d worry about getting ill myself. Thankfully, I did not succumb and have been vaccinated since late December. That was like winning the lottery and I am grateful for it.

I quit smoking in February 2020, right before the pandemic. It’s been a journey for sure! I’ll have to fill you in on that later as my iPad keeps flashing “low battery” and I’m now going to need to charge it up before I natter on about it, joy.

Sorry to rush off, but will be back soon. Get some rest Katie and I hope you have a lovely start to the week with a daughter who is now recovered! 

More soon! blush