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February 2021 Ex-Smokers - Start Here!   Quit Buddies Unite

Started 1/31/21 by Terry (abquitsmking); 35298 views.
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Mar-28

I think these are my favorites so far. I can just close my eyes and transport right there and...ahhhh...absolutely breathtaking. I can only imagine what these views would be like in person Anthony. They are truly a breath of fresh air in and of themselves. What a wonderful moment you must have had taking that all in! And with a full, deep clean breath to boot! Mmmm. Thank you so much. 

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Mar-29

Hello Suzy,

Hope your weekend came in for a soft and calm landing. Thank you for allowing my enthusiasm for this part of our country. The Pacific NW is my favorite. I grew up in the upper Midwest though left there when I was 25. I’ve lived in the South, in Georgia for 5 years, and shorter periods other areas, but total of time is now most in the PNW. I love the access to nature here as well as the reverence (generally) that nature gets from people here. I LOVE Pike Street Market! I doubt it is changed much since you’ve been actually. I’m sorry I don’t know the cafe you speak of though unamused. I’ll ask my stepson. I’m also not sure about the wind sculptures. We have some on the Coast that are bigger public displays but they are further down for me to imagine them being done as a day trip from Seattle. They are a fairly common artistic garden thing here on a smaller scale than what I’m imagining you speaking of. The monorail is pretty cool, but only covers a small area of downtown. Speaking of...didn’t you just love the hills?joy 
I dream of coming to where you are, someday, hopefully not too far away from now. I really want to go to Bath. Halifax too and just all over there really. Ireland is a long time aspiration of mine, and I’m trying to plan a trip now, but COVID makes it a bit hard still. I’d hate to get the time from work, buy a ticket, and then not be able to go and waste my holiday time from work. So realistically I’m looking at next Spring. 
You mentioned somewhere folks from Britain being a bit more narrow focused...please do forgive me if I read that wrong! I think this is an aspect of human nature one can find anywhere really, but I did not really imagine it where you are very much. Cultures absolutely fascinate me, and I think ultimately many aspects of human nature are not that different across them, same as basic human desires and needs. Now that I’ve said that though...I see holes in that thinking! joy The South here is definitely very different culturally from where I am now, as is the Midwest and East Coast! I do think one can fit in most anywhere if they have true desire to do so and they are open and accepting of differences and embrace them as they are rather spend one’s time always trying to impose one’s views on others. Hmmm...how did I get here? Lol...

My pleasant interruption! Yes! It is a friend and colleague of mine that generally stays at my place once a month when we work a Saturday/Sunday together back to back. He lives a bit over an hour away and we don’t usually leave work until about 8pm and need to be back on Sunday at 7am. So it is always a lovely evening once a month, chatting and hanging out. He has a small farm out near Mt Hood and I have gone and stayed there some too for fun. We weren’t sure when he would get here last night as he got delayed leaving work and he got here sooner than I expected so I wanted to hold on the writing I had started when he arrived. Anyway...we always have similar conversations as what you described recently having with a visitor of yours and I love those conversations and connections. 
 

Oh, you’re funny! I’m glad you don’t turn into a Werewolf with various moon cycles like I do, haha! Seriously though, yes, I feel the same way as far as believing there is an effect on me with the changes. That is interesting you are actually logging it on a Lunar Calendar. I’m very interested in hearing what you discover if you want to share once you know. I’m very in tune with a variety of things in nature and how they affect me and my animals. 
 

Goodness! All of these things to think about and learn about and get involved with and celebrate, etc...why did we ever waste any of our time allowing our minds to go up in smoke, right?? 
 

Isn’t tomorrow your 3 week anniversary?? Fantastic Suzy. I’m so happy for you and also happy our paths have crossed here! I love what you wrote to Blue about the little girl picture and I hope you will embrace and nurture the little girl in you too as you continue on this wonderful, liberating journey we are on! blush

Speak soon, and enjoy your day!

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Mar-29

Hello again Katie! 
 

Im sorry to have read about your daughter feeling poorly. I hope she is better now. It’s so hard when they are that age and ill; and it can be so exhausting. 20 months! Such fun. Folks always speak about “the terrible twos”. I did not have that experience with mine. The hardest was shortly after starting Primary School, really. Such a big adjustment for them as they learn about the bigger world outside of their parents. I think once we accept that the phases they go through truly are temporary and all part of the natural differentiation process, we relax with them a little and are able to ride the more challenging times out more easily. 
 

I divorced when my daughter was nearly four and we moved into our own small place. Her dad is here in the city too, but, was not as committed and involved as he could have been. So, technically no, not a single parent, but...in many ways in reality, yes. I had good support from friends and her school, and from who I now live with as my partner, his Mom. She is basically my Daughter’s Grandmother really as my Mom passed when she was 4 and was far away. Yes, my daughter and I are very close! We have definitely had our moments of disagreement, naturally, but always work it out quickly and with a lot of acceptance and love. Now I find myself reassuring her that it is ok to be thinking about her own life and getting her own place in a year or two, or whenever she is ready, and that it will be ok as I will still be here and she will always have a home with me wherever I may be. She may have to travel to get to me, but I will always gather her under my wing and let her rest when needed. I remember having the same feelings actually at her age. There was a part of me that felt guilty for feeling ready and wanting to have my own place and leave my parent’s home. I want her to know those feelings are ok and natural and part of her growing into an adult and I am not threatened or hurt by them or her changing needs. This is why I say some things I do...when they are small we worry about them moving on and leaving, but then we realize when they get to be a “legal adult”, there are still a lot of needs that they have and nurturing to be given. You are always gonna be her Mum, and she will always know in her heart that you are there for her. Always.

Lockdown here in Oregon is still partial. The U.S. has been very different with it from state to state, and even from county to county within states. It is kind of a big place to handle something like this in a “one size fits all” approach for sure, but, I do have my thoughts on the overall initial approach we took in many ways. I work in Medicine and have been working all along so my life as far as that goes didn’t change much except for the level of stress a d worry about getting ill myself. Thankfully, I did not succumb and have been vaccinated since late December. That was like winning the lottery and I am grateful for it.

I quit smoking in February 2020, right before the pandemic. It’s been a journey for sure! I’ll have to fill you in on that later as my iPad keeps flashing “low battery” and I’m now going to need to charge it up before I natter on about it, joy.

Sorry to rush off, but will be back soon. Get some rest Katie and I hope you have a lovely start to the week with a daughter who is now recovered! 
 

More soon! blush

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Mar-29

Skin check went OK, no problems. Received from hospital today a list of do's and don'ts explaining how they will do the op, it turns out I am having the posterior op, together with post op rehab procedures.

Had a visitor today who had travelled up from Launceston Tasmania, he is also a photographer and hales from the US of A, we had a good old chinwag and he showed us over his motor home...nice, tomorrow he is continuing his journey North to McKay in Queensland. 

Just another pic from the collection

Jatchat

From: Jatchat

Mar-29

My pleasure Lori,

Anthony

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

Mar-29

Good morning Anthony!

You must be getting very excited and maybe a bit nervous too. I’m so happy for you and proud of you! Someone wrote here that they had read about hip replacements being one of this most gratifying and life changing procedures that one can have done. I have heard and seen the same thing. Will be a bit tough the first few days but in no time at all you will be up and fully at ‘em and I bet with such great relief and no regrets! Aren’t you so happy you will get that new lease as a non smoker? It truly will make a difference with your improved lung capacity and the new hip!! You will be dancing circles around and about! I may have to hop a plane and come dance with you!!joy I really am excited for you Anthony. I will never forget your calm interception early on in my quit when I put out an SOS once. You wrote “I’m here, you’re not alone”. Though I don’t know you, I swear, I could hear your voice and this wave of relaxation and calm and rationale came over me. I’m telling you...that posting before smoking really does work. I wish I would see folks do it more prior to smoking instead of after. I also know I’m guilty of that too, so I say that with no judgment. I also know, that in the moment I caved, I allowed the junkie a bit more room on the dance floor than I ought to have and there was a little voice in my head planning and scheming and I just did not stand up to it. If I would have mustered the strength from my wise mind even to come and post first, well, it likely would not have happened. So for all reading this, if you do  nothing else through this quit, make the commitment to yourself, truly commit that you will come here first and wait. Maybe I’ll write that in the NOPE pledge today too. 
Anyway...got sidetracked. My good energy is coming now to fill your week Anthony with lots of love and well wishes and protective spirit these days before for you. You will be fine and I’m much less worried since you have this past month of your quit to empower and strengthen you too!!! 
Where abouts is your photographer friend from here? Has he been gone some time and living there now, or just visiting Down Under? I spent some time out under that gorgeous Worm Moon last night and it was incredibly renewing. blush

KatieKat84

From: KatieKat84

Mar-29

Hi Suzy,

Lovely to get a glimpse of your handsome buoy (haha see what I did there) and the excellent lettering! You must have a steady hand.

CONGRATULATIONS on 3 weeks!!

<fanfare>

That’s some good smoke-free time you’ve got under your belt. Proud of you! How is it feeling at the moment?

That’s great Mike has just quit too, means you can really get the smoke out of your lives. Yes there will be triggers to come but they do fade as you overwrite them with new associations. Each time one pops up just smile to yourself and say ‘I don’t do that anymore’.

My swim this morning was wonderful - just so nice to be back at the lido, everyone looking so happy. It’s a lovely 1930s lido, 50m, with lots of space around it (where we now get changed as we’re not allowed to use the changing rooms). I only managed 4 lengths as it was 9 degrees and did feel quite a shock after such a long break. Looking forward to going again tomorrow!

My daughter is all better thanks - she does tend to bounce back quickly and was full of beans today. One of her favourite games at the moment  is to chuck something on the floor (her pooh bear, a packet of tissues or whatever) and then exclaim ‘poor pooh bear!’ or ‘poor packet!’

I’m feeling a bit ambivalent about the end of lockdown - how about you? Seeing lots of people meeting in the park suddenly made me feel like I should be arranging to see people, but I don’t know if I want to. I think I’m just a creature of habit and it takes me a while to find my new routine when the rules change...

Ok, going to read my book a bit now.

Hope your week is off to a great start Suzy.

Katie x

Quit 4th March 2017

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-29

Hi Lore,

I know so little about the USA!  I can place most states on a map, more or less, but I have no idea of what constitutes the upper Midwest.  Wyoming? Nebraska?  Iowa?  Please tell me more.   My best friend's brother lives in Georgia (Savannah) and loves it. I've always been a little bit tempted by Tennessee, myself - Nashville in particular, where I become (in my dreams) an overnight country singing sensation.  I might have left that a bit late, but hey - and also Louisiana, because I like prawns and I can speak French.  Yes, it really is that simple and shallow.

I can understand you wanting to visit Bath - wonderful buildings and lots of Roman history - but why Halifax?  It's not generally on the tourist trail, but maybe you know more than I do?  As for Ireland, I want to go there too and can't quite believe I never have, given how close it is.  Maybe we will meet up there one day!

As for narrow-mindedness, I think things have got a whole lot worse here since the referendum of 2016 where we decided to leave the EU.  The Leave campaign mostly focused on anti-immigration, and hate crimes went up almost immediately afterwards and have stayed high ever since;  I think we've become a lot less tolerant and more inward-looking, and I find it very sad.

Glad your interruption was so nice - it's great to find people you can really talk with about things that matter to you.   I lived in France from 97-99 and loved the culture and the people, but ultimately I really struggled with not being able to express myself fully.  I could get by in most practical situations, but there was no nuance or philosophy.  Jokes too were a problem - I went to the cinema to see a comedy, and laughed at least 20 seconds after everyone else did.  I never went again.

Thanks for the encouragement, Lore - it really does help - and hope you're having a good day too.

Suzy x

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-29

Thanks for the photo Anthony - another absolute stunner - and really glad to here that the pre-op checks are going well.  Lovely that you got to see your friend too.  Stay strong and smoke-free, my friend - this really is worth it!

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

Mar-29

Haha, yes I did see what you did there and my buoy is indeed very 'ansum (as we say here in Devon).  As for having a steady hand, well if you look very closely you might see the shadow of my first attempt, post gin,  in red ballpoint pen. Some things really are best done sober! 

Thank you for the fanfare and the congratulations.  Three weeks must seem like small potatoes to you, so thank you even more for remembering how hard it can be sometimes and for taking the time to cheer us all on.  You have made a huge difference to my motivation, and I'm not sure I'd be here bowing and basking in the praise if it hadn't been for you. Thank you.

So glad your swim was wonderful, and I think four lengths in nine degrees is amazing.  Nine degrees??  That's only slightly warmer than a fridge!

Very glad too that your daughter is feeling better and making you smile.  I can imagine you saying 'Poor mummy!' when you have to pick everything up, but even if you're too patient for that, she is learning empathy with every throw.  It's lovely to visualise, and how wonderful it is that words on a page can so transport us. 

Oh yes, end of lockdown ambivalence - it IS a real thing and I definitely have it too.   I was going to do so many things during it (like writing my bestseller-to-be - which I've been planning for about 20 years), and even though I haven't done it yet I feel sure that if I just had a bit more time...    I do also feel quite comfortable with a smaller, cosier, less sociable life.   I've enjoyed spending more time with Mike, cooking, reading, watching telly, and just not having to plan ahead so much.  I know a lot of people's circumstances are different and it's been a struggle, but there really is a lot that I'll miss.

Hope you have a good week too, and that you don't have The Fear tomorrow! 

Suzy x 

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