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February 2021 Ex-Smokers - Start Here!   Quit Buddies Unite

Started 1/31/21 by Terry (abquitsmking); 35301 views.
Loreficent

From: Loreficent

3/4/21

Don’t beat yourself up. You will find that space you had before. Yes, read, re- educate, stick with it. It eventually comes down to accepting you will either smoke forever or not. You’ve done it before and will be back on that horse soon. Believe in yourself. Hang onto how you did it before, set your mind, and promise yourself this time you will go one day longer. It’s not silly to prepare and set yourself up for things for the first few days. It’s a fine line between that and rationalization too though. But set your sights on Monday and take the next few days to prepare. We will be here for you then!blush

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

3/4/21

Thank you!  That is so helpful to me right now - exactly the right words at exactly the right time.   Are you Lori, or are you magnificent?  Perhaps you're both!

I will spend the next few days wisely, don't worry (well, apart from smoking, which is almost more stupid than I can bear).  What I mean is that I'm going to read loads on here, and re-visualize how great I felt when I didn't smoke.  I do know that it's wonderful, life-affirming, confidence-building and so much more even than that.  I am scared - well, my junkie-brain is - but I'm also excited.

Thanks again.

Suzy  

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

3/4/21

Dear Butirflis,

Well, I screwed up again today, but I will be back - on Monday.  I remember you so fondly, and I'm so glad that you have nearly seven weeks under your belt.  Maybe we should dust off those old charm bracelets - they were an inspired idea - or perhaps even get new ones?   I hope things are good in your life, and thank you - so much - for getting in touch.  It means a lot.  

Suzy x

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

3/4/21

Oh, good! I’m glad it is helpful. Really though, I think the beating yourself up is the junkie thinking at it’s best. It tells you all the things the addict piece wants you to believe. How you failed, how you can’t , how you’re not ready, how hard it is, how miserable you’ll be, and on and on. Well...you just can’t keep listening to all of that! Of course you know how terrible you feel about giving up a long quit. But you also know you did it before! Don’t stay in that junkie trap too long. The addict loves to live in the shadows. Set your sights on Monday. 
Ahhh...my most confusing user name. Lore is fine, a shortened version of my given name, Lori is fine too, my now legal name. Since you are an Actor though, surely you’ve seen “Maleficent”? My nickname is a combination of Lore and that. There are those in my life that see me as an advocate for all creatures and as formidable to some things; at the time the nickname was given (by my stepson) it was formidable to who is now my Ex and any who would bring strife to other creatures in my presence. But...being a formidable fairy will have to wait until the life after my next life, in which I plan to be a six foot redheaded Mermaid. Lol! joy Stay close to here on Monday and we will have us some fun!

Suzy2018

From: Suzy2018

3/4/21

I think you're a very formidable fairy indeed!  How do you know so much about me and my junkie???  Thanks again, and see you next week.

And I'm sorry for the brief reply - dinner calls (it's saying "I'm burning" unfortunately), and I also have to remember to invoice for today - love the work, rubbish at admin.

Suzy

Loreficent

From: Loreficent

3/4/21

Because maybe all of our inner junkies really aren’t that different?? I know my addict very well. Lol. I think I read your story earlier though. My heart went out to you. I know what it’s like to have stopped for some time and go back. It feels terrible. 
But....we are not dead yet! Never too late to stop I think.

Enjoy your dinner! blush 

boylant22

From: boylant22

3/4/21

Hi Suzy, I am new on this forum and only on day 4 of my quit.  I did want to share that I did the Allen Carr online series on day 2 (because I was struggling so much and was willing to try ANYTHING) and that really, really helped me. Since, I have not had the urge to smoke again...or at least not to the level where I felt like I was climbing the walls. 
 

In any regard, just passing that along as something that may possibly work for you. To me, it just made it click. But absolutely know and have faith that you will find the “click” that works for you. Good, good luck on your continued journey and I know you will do it!

Glammy2016

From: Glammy2016

3/4/21

I now have 5 grandchildren. I started a bracelet and put a bead with there initial on it for 5 weeks. They ended up spelling out hotms or hot mess lol which is what I am. But I thought of you with each bead

KatieKat84

From: KatieKat84

3/5/21

Hi Suzy, nice to receive your message. I'm sorry you weren't able to quit today as planned but I know how daunting it feels to launch into it. Good idea to regain your focus and start Monday. Maybe you could come up with a mantra that chimes for you, and keep saying it to yourself when things get tough. One of mine was "The only reason I want to smoke is to get the nicotine."

It's so hard seeing the struggles everyone has to go through the get free - just feels really sad, it's such a horrible addiction. I can really remember that split in my brain - on one hand knowing i wanted to quit, and on the other, the junky thoughts saying I wanted to smoke! Just take it one day at a time, know that some days won't be pretty, but you will get to freedom and it will be soooo worth it! Keep coming on here too - any time you feel a craving, just log on and reach out.

That's great you have some year-long quits under your belt. Do you know why you restarted again? Being 4 years quit does feel really, really good. Just the sense of peace and not being a slave to the cigarettes. I found the first year of the quit pretty challenging, I mean obviously the early weeks are very hard in that immediate way, but even after months I still felt I was missing out. I guess it just took a long time for my brain to let go of the idea that smoking was doing something for me. I can genuinely say now I don't miss it, and when I see someone smoking i cant believe that used to be me. I do sometimes dream I have started smoking again and I always feel full of dismay, so I guess that's ok!

Nice that you're in Devon - are you anywhere near the sea? I'm in London but we're hoping to move out to the countryside soon.

Have you read Allen Carr's Easyway to stop smoking book? If not i would recommend that. I don't think it's at all easy to quit but the book helped me to see exactly why I smoked, which helped me to stop.

Have a nice weekend and hopefully some much nicer smoke-free ones are on the horizon!

Best wishes,
Katie

4th March 2017

gkim

From: gkim

3/5/21

Glammy, you changed your picture. You are lovely!

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