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To me   Quit Support

Started Apr-3 by candrew; 5579 views.
Jerthie123

From: Jerthie123

Apr-3

Andrew....

Good for you!  You go on with your bad self!

Bipolar disorder is very challenging to live with.  I know that from firsthand experience.  I think one of the main reasons I still use the lozenges is vanity.  I am so afraid to gain weight.  I hate myself for being so vain.  My new medication caused me to gain more than 10 pounds lol.  I also just ended an unhealthy relationship I was in for the last five years.  And I begin a new job next week.  My mom has had health issues too.  And well... There are now some new men contacting me via online dating.  I live the life of a superficial person lol.  I have always worked in acting, fitness and beauty.  Each of these industries place stress on looking good at all times.  Hence, I rely on the lozenges to help manage my weight.

I think I could have an easier time letting go of them completely if it weren't for the multiple stressors in my life... All at the same time.  But I am a bit of a loser... I can't seem to manage my stress without nicotine lol.  We shall see how the ongoing saga goes!  But I am LOADS happy for your perserverance!  You keep going!  I will keep you and the rest of the crew posted.

xvaper

From: xvaper

Apr-10

Hi Jerthie,

I answered a previous post you send me, but I have a few things to add after I read this one...

I'm a pretty slim person but  did put on some weight when I first quit but that's because I ate too much cake. Then I got my act together and stopped that none-sense, I eat normal healthy diet ( in my case Vegan who eats eggs, and sins with cake once in a while) and the pounds come off again.

From what you wrote sounds like this is the perfect opportunity to quit. You got out of an unhealthy relationship, good ridden, you are starting a new job, and may be dating again soon. 

You can actually manage your stress without nicotine... I promise you. 

candrew

From: candrew

Apr-11

Well I am not happy to say that I have been smoking since Monday. All  it took was the stress of an spat with my wife. Nothing major but enough to send me to the convenience store to get a pack.

I don't remember if  I told you before that I had relapsed. But, tonight I am smoking my final cig before my new quit. I was so proud of myself and thought I was on the right track.  And I was.

I will pick back up where I left off, things will be fine, I am going to grind my last 3 cigerettes in the garbage disposal. Good riddence to bad trash.

Andrew

Lubbercat

From: Lubbercat

Apr-11

Candrew

Sorry to hear you had a slip, just jump back on that wagon again and kick those butts to the street.  Sad to say but, those little fights can make it all go wrong and I have been guilty of that myself before.  Just be persistent and maybe make a plan for next time that event might happen.........that way, you will already have a plan in front of you instead of running to that store!

Kathy

Anne2020

From: Anne2020

Apr-11

It is so hard to change that auto reaction - get upset, smoke; feel stressed, smoke; angry, smoke; sad, smoke.  Putting a plan in place ahead of time can be very helpful.  I decided that, when I felt any of those auto triggers - I would gorge on on chocolate covered raisins, or punch out a pillow or get into my car and drive, screaming at whoever or whatever upset me as if they were right there in the car with me.  Looked a bit odd but, that seemed to help keep me away from what I used to do - smoke.

Eventually I learned how to talk myself out of an auto reaction.  I learned to recognize when I was experiencing an auto reaction and I did something completely different then what I used to do (smoke).  I learned to take a few seconds before re-acting and think - I am in control of me, what shall my response to this be.   

It takes time to learn a new behaviour.  Give yourself that extra few seconds to decide how you are going to react to stresses and emotions and leave those auto reactions behind.      

CC to candrew
candrew

From: candrew

Apr-11

Thanks Kathy -

Day one of my second phase of 2022 Quit Smoking Project.

Last night I pounded down 16 cigs in 9  hours. Trying to consume all of the pack I had bought earlier in the day. 1.77 /hour. It wasn't plesant but I I wanted to finish the pack  before midnight. I  ended up throwing away 4 of them making sure that I could not smoke in case I had  a change of mind. It was a difficult morning, especially with my coffee but I persevered. 

Oh well, I made it through my cravings and stayed busy into the afternoon. Nothing overwhelming, just another day with no cigs.

The only difference since last month is no NRT. I really don't think I need it as long as I remain committed to my goal. My current goal is simply the the next 24 hours. As I become more confident it will be the week, then the month and then the year. It will take awhile but as long as I tell my self that I just don't smoke anymore (NOPE too).

I'll be alright. 

Andrew

Lubbercat

From: Lubbercat

Apr-11

Anne

Thank you for your response......I have mostly gotten to where I can stop and think before that knee jerk reaction but, I can only pray that the day does not come that I react without thinking again.  I, for the most part, got to where I would scrub pans or possibly go take a bath.......can't smoke with wet hands!

Lubbercat

From: Lubbercat

Apr-11

Candrew

I believe that with only a day slip, you can probably make it through with no NRT........not that the drug does not still need to work out of your system but you do already have some of those daily smoking habits that are no longer habits for now.  

Posting is always a great way since you can't type as fast if you are smoking.  I just keep 2 hands on the keyboards.....or 2 hands scrubbing dishes when I am mad.

Good luck 

Kathy

Anne2020

From: Anne2020

Apr-11

That is a good one.  Wet hands can't smoke.  Love it.

candrew

From: candrew

Apr-11

Yea, its not as cut and dry as I would like it to be.

You see I never totally accepted that I suffered from a serious addiction, that I was bigger than it, I could overcome it if I could just tell it to get lost and let me live my life without it. Maybe could be called blind faith, fooling myself or downright stupidity. I tend to ignore the significance of my declsion; this ain't going to be easy (my past attempts have proven this). I see it as a daily commitment (AA's 1 day at a time). If I fail, get back up in the saddle immediately, unlike  this time waiting a week because I had to prepare for my next attempt. That was simply a way to stay smoking , a setup for sure. 

Today was ok. I pray tommorow will be the same. And if I happen to fall off the horse to get right back up and keep on truckin'.

Andrew

CC to Lubbercat
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