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Desperate to Smoke, Desperate to Quit   Introductions/Newcomers Nook

Started 1/9/23 by Terry (abquitsmking); 3801 views.
Terry (abquitsmking)

Forumer About.com smoking cessation forum member and moderator Lesly shares perspective at three years smoke-free:


Three years ago I was a desperate woman.

I was desperate to quit smoking – I was desperate to smoke.

I was sick to death of smoking – I loved to smoke.

I hated how I smelled – I loved the smell of my smokes.

I hated the burn holes, fears, sickness – I loved the rituals.

I hated being told I should quit - I knew I should quit.

Most of all – I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I hated feeling stupid. Bottom line. So – I jumped off the teeter-totter and jumped into the forum’s smober boat with both feet. I clung desperately to the lifelines thrown to me and I held on with all my might through the storms (heck, more like hurricanes) that followed.

I held on with both hands and all my heart to one thing that a man who was one of my dearest friends told me. He told me this:

You think you love to smoke and you think it is so important to your happiness, but when you quit (and I know you will), you will find out that all that happiness associated with smoking is a lie. It’s a cheap carnival trick. It is nothing more than smoke and mirrors.

Guess what? He was right! There is not one thing in my life that I can’t do better without a cigarette hanging out of my mouth – well, except maybe applying eyeliner. Ha ha – I am SO kidding! Anyway, one of my greatest sorrows is that he died before I found the courage to quit smoking.

Quitting is hard – it takes effort, determination and commitment, but it can be done. You need to be brutally honest with yourself, though, and you cannot quit by continuing to smoke. You have to stop! Not one – not one puff and no excuses.

There is a sign in my gym that motivates me. I’ll try to recreate it for you.

The Ten Steps to Success


Try again

Try harder

Try tomorrow

Try thinking about what has worked in the past

Try and ask someone who has done it

Try and figure out what is not working

Try it a different way

Try it once more

Don't stop trying!

The longest journey has to start with one simple, tiny step. I took my first step three years ago today, and I have never regretted it.

modCindi (CindiS319)

From: modCindi (CindiS319)


Thank you Terry.  I love this and it is so true!


From: Jerthie123


This is so true! Thank you so much Terry for sharing!!

Msg 7217.4 deleted

From: overdoze


Thanks for that letter of encouragement. I keep trying... Hope everyone has a good day.


From: Robnosmoke


I quit smoking 6 weeks ago for the second time in my life, the first time was in 1995 after 30 years of smoking and it was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life but I persevered and won that battle  

I took them up again after a failed relationship in 2004, you could say they were a psychological pacifier to suck on. This time around was much easier because I had worked out all the coping mechanisms and the main thing is to be 100% honest with yourself. Once you take up smoking you are always an addict just like any drug or acquired habit, Opiates, alcohol, food or whatever. The human brain thrives on routine. You get up in the morning and have a cup of coffee that is a part of your routine and you could say that addiction is a form of routine. You repeat something often enough and it becomes part of your routine and the brain likes it which is one of the many  reasons it is so hard to quit. To remind yourself the reason you quit in the first place as often as possible is a good coping mechanism. Simply, be honest with yourself, be positive with your self and take it one hour, one day or one week at a time and above all do not become arrogant or complacent about it.


From: Jerthie123


Hello Rob... Congratulations on being 6 weeks smoke free. What you say about routine is so true. Addiction to anything becomes routine, and it becomes very difficult to untangle out of what becomes a nasty habit. I am enslaved to the use of nicotine lozenges. I think I need to immediately change my thoughts around them. If I can change my thinking it just may redirect the urges to suck on one. All the best to you on your quit!


From: Robnosmoke


Hi Jerthie

That is the fundamental problem with Nico replacement therapy, it only reinforces the addiction, the mind or subconscious is quiet happy as long as it's getting it's hit of Nicotine. Did you know that Nicotine is used as a weed killer?" now just imagine what it can do to your lungs and heart after a decade. It had damaged my heart resulting in a heart attack but no, that didn't stop me, finally after developing a chronic cough and symptoms of lung fibrosis and the thought of ending up on oxygen support like those anti-smoking ads, I had the reason and resolve to quit. At first I too tried the lozenges but they tasted so vile I chucked them in the trash can and buckled down to do it cold Turkey. Fortunately it worked for me, keep at it, if you need the lozenges so be it but have a plan to ween yourself off those too and stick to it. Keep a diary with all the reasons you want to quit, repeat them to yourself as often as you can. Last of all DON"T GIVE UP.


From: MarthaJC


Hey Rob - former long-time smoker here, quit cold turkey about 18 months ago. Everything you've written about addiction rings true. Recently I had a conversation with a friend who also quit around the time I did, after decades of smoking. We agreed that as hard as it was to adjust to life without nicotine - and damn it was hard - it's good to remind ourselves of what lies on the other side. Mainly -- freedom! Freedom from the stress of knowing you're choosing to harm your body, freedom from the insane cost of cigarettes, freedom from being ruled by figuring out "how can I smoke?" at social events/vacations, freedom from guilt. And yeah, it's important not to be complacent. I still have cravings from time to time, and I know how to deal with them. I also know myself. Not One Puff Ever is the only good choice for me. Hang in there - as you know, it gets easier and it gets better!


From: Anne2020


Welcome back to your non-smoking lifestyle.  As you are familiar with the landscape, about all I can say is, I am sure you will find everything you need on this side.  Welcome back.